30 - The Divorce Dilemma (Mark 10:1-9)
30 - The Divorce Dilemma (Pt1) (Mark 10:1-9)
I. INTRODUCTION
Hello. This is Dr. David Wolfe, one of the pastors at Bensenville Bible Church. Thank you for joining us.
Our study today comes from Mark’s Gospel, chap 10, vs1-9. I’ve entitled our study The Divorce Dilemma. In these verses Jesus was challenged by some Pharisees as to the legitimacy of divorcing one’s wife (v2). A hot topic then, and a hot topic today.
Let’s take a moment and ask God to open our minds to God’s perspective on marriage. “Heavenly Father, thank you for this time you’ve given us to open your Word. Help us to get a grip on Your design for our marriage relationships. Thank you for the clarity, encouragement and hope Your Word brings. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
II. BRIDGING THE CONTEXT
The verses we are considering are part of our Lord’s teaching on divorce. As we dig into this passage we need to keep in mind that this is not everything God has to say about divorce, nor is it everything that Jesus had to say on divorce. What Jesus lays out in these 9 verses is God’s design for marriage—a man and a woman in a permanent life-long relationship. If we want longevity in our marriages, we don’t start with emotional chilly-bumps, or beauty pageants. Longevity starts with a clear understanding of God’s intent for marriage—which is a permeant relationship until death.
In an article entitled 5 Key Secrets to Marriage Longevity That You Probably Didn’t Know, Daniel Dashnaw writes, Here’s something to think about: according to research, if you have a close and loving bond with your partner, you’re going to live longer and enjoy better health than other people your age who never married, or are separated, divorced, or widowed.[i]
Larry Crabb observes in his book The Marriage Builder, that we have become so conditioned to measuring the rightness of what we do by the quality of emotion it generates that a new version of relativistic ethics has developed that might be called the Morality of Fulfillment. “Fulfillment” has taken on a greater urgency and value than “obedience.”[ii]
Kent Hughes observes that the primrose path of “self-fulfillment” is strewn with the bones of innocent victims, many of whom are the offspring of professing Christians.[iii]
III. THE CONTEXT
In striving to follow Mark paragraph by paragraph, we’ll start with v1. V1 (GW) Jesus left Capernaum and hiked to the territory of Judea along the other side of the Jordan River. Crowds gathered around him again, and he taught them as he usually did. Jesus and His Team now leave Capernaum, cross over the Jordan River to an area known as Perea. His ultimate destination will be Jerusalem and His death on the cross.[iv] As per usual, a crowd gathers, peppered by Pharisees. They began to press Jesus, V2, as to the lawfulness for a man to divorce his wife. This was not meant to be a simple dialogue looking for common ground. V2 tells us that this was a set-up, a test question.
In context, divorce was a hot political topic of the day. Presumably in part, because of Herod’s divorcing Aretas, which ultimately lead to a war with the Nabateans.[v] In addition divorce was a common practice throughout the Roman Empire. David Garland notes that in the Greco-Roman world in which Mark wrote his Gospel, acquiring a divorce was easy and informal. Either spouse could divorce simply by leaving home with that intention; no justification was needed.[vi] Not much different today. Today a do-it-yourself on-line divorce is possible in 30 minutes without the help of lawyers if you and your spouse agree as to details for $139[vii]. There’s every possibility that the Pharisees where also trying to up-the-ante in political tensions between Jesus, the religious leaders of the day, and Herod. After all it was common knowledge that Herod, like his father at Jesus’ birth, wanted to kill Jesus (Luke 13:31-32)
Today divorce may not be as political as was in Jesus’ day, but it has become our norm. From the canterburylawgroup.com there are nearly 2,400 divorces every single day in these United States, meaning an average of almost 17,000 (16,800) divorces each week, upwards of 875,000 divorces per year. The stats tell us that eight years is the average length of a first marriage that ends with a divorce.[viii] Dr. Jan Anderson writes in her blog, While I was going through my messy divorce I was stunned to run across a book called “The Good Divorce.” Hello? Who does that? Divorce is a tough way to deal with broken relationships. It’s not easy emotionally and the stakes are high financially and legally. In fact, divorce is the second most stressful life event on the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale.[ix]
Here’s the deal, as Jesus Followers, our view of divorce must not be based on societal whims and emotional upheavals, but on solid biblical truth. The truth is, God made it clear as to His position on divorce in Malachi 2:16 (NASB95) “I hate divorce,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, . . . “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”
IV. THE DIVORCE DELIMMA
As we wrestle with the Pharisee-Jesus dialog in Mark’s gospel, it is helpful to keep in mind the parallel account in Matthew 19:1-12. Matthew is virtually the same as Mark’s account, except in a slightly different order.
A. Pharisee Test Question
As we get into our text, both Matthew and Mark point out that . . . Some Pharisees came to Jesus to test Him. That’s another way to say that they came with the intent of entrapment. Mark tells us that they were questioning Him whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife. In Matthew’s account, the question was far more sweeping. He records the question as-- “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” [Matthew 19:3 (NASB95)]
Understand, for the Pharisees, when it came to studying the Law as laid out in the Old Testament, they approached it much in the same way that we tend to study the law. Not what does the law require, but how much wiggle room do we have? Or to put it another way, what can I get away with and not get punished? As David Garland notes, The Pharisees were more interested in their rights, not their responsibilities, and the pursuit of legal exoneration for a behavior no matter how it might affect another person. Here one can see some of the snobbery in that they ask only about the husband’s right to divorce, and pay no attention to the needs of the wife.[x]
The Pharisee Test question is drawn from Deuteronomy 24:1 (NASB95) “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, he can write her a certificate of divorce and put it in her hand and send her out from his house, The issue for the day was the meaning of the word indecency. From the Jewish Liberal camp, indecency could be applied to a peripheral of things—things like a spoiled dinner, walking to the market with hair down, speaking to a man on the way, or being disrespectful to husband parents. On the flip side it also included sexual misconduct or some sort of shameful exposure.[xi]. According to Rabbi Akiba, it could also include the husband seeing another woman who was more beautiful then his wife. Such beauty opened the door for the husband to divorce his wife.[xii]
B. Jesus’ Question
Jesus responds to their question by asking His own question: 3“What did Moses command you?” In answering the Pharisees, Jesus uses Israel’s history as the backdrop for establishing God’s attitude about divorce—so He asks: what did Moses say? 4They said, “Moses permitted a man TO WRITE A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY.”
C. Jesus’ Response to the Pharisee Question
In Matthew’s account Jesus was blunt in His answer: Have you not read . . . In other words, don’t you guys read the Scriptures? 4“Haven’t you read that the Creator made them male and female in the beginning 5and that he said, ‘That’s why a man will leave his father and mother and will remain united with his wife, and the two will be one’? 6So they are no longer two but one. Therefore, don’t let anyone separate what God has joined together.” [Matthew 19:4–6 (GW)]
Taking a closer look at Jesus’ answer, we see that He gives three responses to their question:
1. First, V6, He takes them back to Genesis 1:27, the beginning of creation, back to Adam and Eve, back to where it all started with one man and one woman. There were no spare people running around. There were no other single women standing as back-up. The man Adam, and the woman Eve were deliberately placed for each other.
2. Second, V7, He points out that the creation of Adam and Eve were designed as a model of intimacy—a loving close personal relationship with one another, united together as one. For this reason, V6, God made them male and female, a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh. What God designed was not an arm’s length relationship, not a look-and-see, or even a trial run . . . I love the way John MacArthur lays it out. Marriage is two people unbreakably connected together, glued together, and pursuing hard after each other to be united in mind and will and spirit and body and emotion.[xiii]
3. Third, Vs8-9, The relationship of Adam and Eve was designed by God to be permanent—they were no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God joined together, let no separate them. The point being made is that marriage of a man and woman is a God thing. It’s not two men, not two women, but a man and a woman.
When it comes to marriage of a man and a woman, there’s a finality of choice—leaving of father and mother, clinging to one another with the intent of creating an independent strong union--a Gorilla Glued like union to one another. Anything less is a departure from God’s directive. In summary . . .
- it was God who created the first man and woman.
- It was God who designed the union.
- It was God who said, “It’s not good for a man to be alone. I’ll make a help for him.”
- It was God who brought Eve to Adam.
- It was God who designed marriage to be an honorable state.
- It was God who issued the command, “Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth.”
The marriage of a man and a woman is a God thing. The marriage of a man and a woman is meant to be a three-way covenant union between a man, a woman, and God.[xiv] Because God designed marriage, He is involved in the marriage relationship. God is not part of any marriage relationship other than a man and a woman.
D. Marriage Covenant
Now when sin came into the world, Genesis 3, God’s marriage directive did not change. God’s standard before sin came into the world was still God’s standard after sin. We know this because of what Malachi 2:14-16a(The Living Bible) tells us. The people of Israel were asking a big question: “‘Why has God abandoned us?’ Malachi the prophet responds: I’ll tell you why; it is because the Lord has seen your treachery in divorcing your wives who have been faithful to you through the years, the companions you promised to care for and keep. You were united to your wife by the Lord. In God’s wise plan, when you married, the two of you became one person in his sight. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. Therefore guard your passions! Keep faith with the wife of your youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, says He hates divorce.… ”
Listen, the marriage covenant is so sacred for God that any violation of the marriage covenant ends with death. Leviticus 20:10 (NASB95) ‘If there is a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, one who commits adultery with his friend’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. From God’s viewpoint, to violate the sacredness of the marriage covenant is a very big deal. It is such a big deal that God calls for the execution of people who violate the marriage covenant.
E. Pharisees’ Question
In Matthew’s account the Pharisees come back at Jesus with another question: Matthew 19:7 (NASB95) “Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY?” Their question takes us back to Deuteronomy 24. To put it another way, they are telling Jesus, “Since Moses made provision for divorce in Deuteronomy 24:1. How, then, can you say it is not part of the ideal?” Jesus answers, V8, It’s “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. [Matthew 19:8 (NASB95)].
Notice carefully Jesus’ response: Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted divorce. Moses didn’t command it as the Pharisees were wanting it to said. Kent Hughes points out for us that what Moses did command was the granting of a divorce certificate for the woman’s protection. Without a certificate she would be subject to exploitation and even retaliation. The certificate also prevented the man from marrying her again. Thus she could not be treated like chattel. Marriage was not something one could walk in and out of as one would please (emphasis added).[xv]
Now notice these powerful words in Jesus’ answer: The reason God allowed divorce was because of hardness of heart. The roots of divorce are rooted in the corruption of the heart. Jesus was challenging the Pharisees hermeneutical assumptions. Just because divorce was permitted did not mean that it was according the will of God. Malachi 2:16 makes that clear, God hates divorce. The point that Jesus was making that there is direct relationship between divorce and the hardness of heart. Hardness of heart boils down to an outright defiance against God’s word. Divorce did not, does not reflect God’s will.
For a man to separate that which God has yoked or joined together means arrogantly to defy God’s instruction![xvi]
V. TRUTHS THAT SHAPE OUR LIVES
So let’s pause here. This is really heavy stuff, whether one is married, single or divorced. What I find interesting is that the prophet Isaiah, because divorce was so prolific in his day, uses it as descriptive of the broken relationship between Israel and God. And I think it would be applicable to our own broken relationship between us and God. As Malachi the prophet spelled out for Israel, the reason why God has forsaken you is because the Lord has seen your treachery in divorcing your wives who have been faithful to you through the years,
As I reflect over Jesus’ teaching on divorce in vs1-9, there are a couple of observations worth noting.
A. First, Jesus Is Presenting God’s Will For Marriage
As David Garland points out in his commentary on Mark, Jesus is not addressing those contemplating divorce, or seeking marriage counsel, or those who might be wrestling with a broken relationship, or for that matter, seeking encouragement. Jesus is addressing His challengers, who want to impose their own will on the marriage relationship , and in so doing presenting God’s will for marriage which was not in-keeping with the original plan .[xvii]
B. Second, Divorce Is Not Lawful
Second, remember the initial question that the Pharisees asked: Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife (v2)? Jesus answer to the question was blunt, No, it is not lawful. In Jesus’ initial response to the Pharisees, He does not say divorce is permissible if such and such conditions occur. We need to be clear, Jesus is simply laying out God’s original design for marriage, which is not a debatable subject. Marriage was/is designed by God as a lifelong covenant relationship, not a temporary romantic flirtation that a husband or wife can undo because the relationship becomes hard or inconvenient.
Jesus’ teaching in these verses is about the permanent relationship in marriage. What the Pharisees and us need to understand is, our spouses are not a piece of property to be traded off, but bone of one’s bone and flesh of one’s flesh (Genesis 2:23), and the image bearer of God Himself (Genesis 1:27).
C. Third, Jesus’ Instruction Is About Gospel Living
Third, we need to recognize that Jesus’ teaching on divorce is actually part of the message of the Gospel of the Kingdom of God (Mark 1:14-15). What Jesus is proclaiming is, that God’s reign is breaking through sin’s barriers, sin’s tragedies, sins destructions and bringing life transformation. By His Gospel, Jesus is setting the standard of living. God’s will is designed to invade all areas of life, including what is culturally accepted and legally allowed. Jesus acknowledges that divorce happens, but He attributes it to a hardening of the heart—which in its basic form is disbelieving God’s word.[xviii] Remember, the disciples were struggling with prominence both individually and corporately, which by the way, was a mark of their own hard heartedness. For 3 years Jesus had been chipping away at their hardness, with the intent of planting ideas of sacrifice and serving others. Their perception of prominence interfered with Jesus’ instruction of sacrifice and service. When it comes to marriage, sacrifice and service becomes prominent (Ephesians 5:22-33). Jumping forward to Mark 12:31, if they are to incorporate the teachings of Jesus into their lives, loving your neighbor as one’s self, surely the neighbor includes our wives. To love oneself rules out the possibility of divorce. And that my friends is absolutely true.
Let’s close in prayer …Heavenly Father, may our marriages radiate your presence in us, so that the world might see Your finger print in our lives. Help husbands and wives fulfill their roles with patience and love. I pray that our marriage relationships will reflect Your great love. I pray for the husbands and wives listening, that they radiate the wonder of the power of the Spirit in blending their lives together as one. May the husbands and wives listening intentionally invest in one another, growing together in life and holiness. Amen
Well, as you go this week, despite the escalating divorce statistics in our country, God’s calling has not changed. He has not called us to be happy, but to follow Him with all the integrity and devotion we can muster by the Holy Spirit. In 1 Samuel 15:22 we are told straight up that the desire of God is obedience more so than worship. The point for us is, God’s truth must be what directs every decision we make.[xix]
And don’t forget, In the midst of the swirling difficulties, God’s is walking with you. Remember we offer Live-worship on Sundays, both on Facebook and YouTube. I invite you during these covid days to join us from the comfort and security of your home. If you would like to contribute to this ministry, go to our website: Bensenvillebiblechurch.com, click on the Donation Drop down and pick your donation preference. Looking forward to meeting up with you again at next week’s posting. May God bless you this coming week.
[i] Daniel Dashnaw, What Happy Couples Know,
https://www.couplestherapyinc.com/ 5-key-secrets-to-marriage-longevity-that-you-probably-didnt-know/. 90% of 48-year-old married men will live to reach age 65. However, only 65% of divorced 48-year-old men will reach 65. Another gender difference is when the measurable beneficial impact begins. For husbands, marriage protects their longevity immediately. However, wives take a longer time to accrue benefits, but they also tend to increase over time.I’m guessing here, but perhaps one of the reasons why men experience an immediate benefit is that in the early days of marriage, the influence that a new wife has on her husband’s behavior is at an all-time high. Research tells us many recently married men between the ages of 20 to 45 tend to curb their reckless behavior and partying, and “settle down.”There is a benefit to a healthy marriage at the other end of the age spectrum as well. Research tells us that elderly couples in happy marriages also have better overall health than other people their age who have never married, are separated or divorced. However, once again, there is a measurable gender difference.
[ii] Lawrence J. Crabb Jr., The Marriage Builder (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1982), p. 10.[ii]
[iii] R. Kent Hughes, Mark: Jesus, Servant and Savior, vol. 2, Preaching the Word (Westchester, IL: Crossway Books, 1989), 44.
[iv] John MacArthur, Mark 9–16, MacArthur New Testament Commentary (Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers, 2015), 53.
[v] Cf., Craig A. Evans, Mark 8:27–16:20, vol. 34B, Word Biblical Commentary (Dallas: Word, Incorporated, 2001), 82. As suggested above, the question of divorce had become a politically hot topic. Not only did Herodias desert and (presumably) divorce her husband (probably through the Roman courts), but Herod Antipas divorced his wife, the daughter of Aretas the king of the Nabateans, in order to marry Herodias. (Josephus tells us that when the daughter of Aretas caught wind of Herod’s plan, she fled to her father.) This marital affair created a political crisis, which finally resulted in war between Galilee and the Nabatea. Had it not been for Roman intervention, Antipas likely would have lost his kingdom. In such a dangerous situation as this, it is understandable why the Galilean tetrach could not tolerate John’s criticism and his popularity with the masses. Ultimately John’s criticism of Herod Antipas’s divorce and remarriage cost the baptizer his life.
[vi] David E. Garland, Mark, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1996), 382.
[vii] https://www.divorcewriter.com/online-divorce-leader.aspx, https://www.mydivorcepapers.com/ppc-video-ceo.php.
[viii] https://canterburylawgroup.com/divorce-statistics-rates/
[ix] Jan Anderson, The Divorce Dilemma: How Do I Know Whether To Stay Or Go? https://www.drjananderson.com/the-divorce-dilemma-how-do-i-know-whether-to-stay-or-go/
[x] David E. Garland, Mark, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1996), 379.
[xi] James B. Hurley, Man and Woman in Biblical Perspective (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1981), pp. 99–102.
[xii] William L. Lane, The Gospel According to Mark, (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1975), p. 363, lists the Jewish sources for such teaching, for example: M. Gittin IX.10; T.B. Gittin 90a; T.J. Sotah I.1.16b; Num. R. IX.30.
[xiii] John MacArthur, The Truth About Divorce (Pt 1), Mark 10, https://www.gty.org/library/sermons-library/41-48/the-truth-about-divorce-part-1
[xiv] Ibid.
[xv] R. Kent Hughes, Mark: Jesus, Servant and Savior, vol. 2, Preaching the Word (Westchester, IL: Crossway Books, 1989), 48.
[xvi] William Hendriksen and Simon J. Kistemaker, Exposition of the Gospel According to Mark, vol. 10, New Testament Commentary (Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1953–2001), 379.
[xvii] David E. Garland, Mark, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1996), 383.
[xviii] Ibid. Cf., Kristi Woods, 7 Powerful Warning Signs of a Hardened Heart, https://www.crosswalk.com/faith/spiritual-life/warning-signs-of-a-hardened-heart.html
[xix] 1 Samuel 15:22 (NASB95)22Samuel said, “Has the LORD as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices As in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to heed than the fat of rams.
Vaccines, masks, and physical distancing seem to be having its effect on COVID, making it possible for us to once again gather as a church family. Mark your calendars and let’s plan on a family worship time at 280 S. York Rd.
We’ll be using both the Sanctuary and the Gym as overflow so that we can physical distance. Because of special issues, we’ll plan on 35 or so in Sanctuary (first come first seating), with over and above meeting in the gym. As aggravating as it is, masks will be required.
If you are uneasy about gathering, no worries. We invite you to join us for the live-worship postings at our usual time.
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