LANGUAGE:
Hello. This is Dr. David Wolfe, one of the pastors at Bensenville Bible Church. Thank you for joining us.
Our study today comes from Mark’s Gospel, chap 10, vs1-12, with our primary focus on vs 10-12. This is a continuation of our previous study. In these verses Jesus was challenged by some Pharisees as to the legitimacy of divorcing one’s wife (v2). There’s every possibility that the Pharisees where doing a squeeze move on Jesus. The issue of divorce was hot. There was Herod’s divorcing his Nabatean wife Artas, there was the everyday Greco-Roman divorce culture, the writings of Moses on divorce, and then the acceptedness of the Jewish religious leader culture of divorcing their wives on the slightest whims--things like a spoiled dinner, walking to the market with hair down, speaking to a man on the way, or being disrespectful to husband parents, including divorcing wives if they found a woman younger and more beautiful. Make a note of this: As Jesus answers the Pharisees question, He describes marriage as transcending the cultural tendencies of commitment and love as conditional.
Let’s take a moment and ask God to help us move beyond our cultural views of marriage conditional commitments. “Heavenly Father, thank you for this time you’ve given us to open your Word. Help us to get a grip on Your design for our marriage relationships. Thank you for the clarity, encouragement and hope Your Word brings. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.”
As we review briefly Jesus’ teaching on divorce, we need to remember that Mark 10 is not the final word on divorce. Here Jesus lays out the fundamental principle that marriage was/is designed to be a permanent relationship. There are other passages that give us further insights as to God’s nuances for marriage.[i] In the ta-to-ta that took place that day with Jesus, three questions were asked, two by the Pharisees, and one by the disciples:
In Matthews parallel account we are given the full thrust of the question: Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason? (Matthew 19:3, emphasis mine). It seems, like today, couples were getting married with the joint understanding, that if differences should arise, they could walk away with no ‘skin off their noses.’ In answering the question as to any reason for divorce, Jesus answered straight up, No, there is no reason. Why? because divorce contradicts what God set in place.
That brings us to the Pharisees second question which is highlighted in Matthew 19:8 Here the Pharisees stated, If, as you Jesus assert, that God ordained marriage as indissoluble, how comes it that Moses commanded us to practice divorce, even giving guidelines? The Pharisees were eager to place Jesus as being in contradiction to the law of Moses, hoping to ensnare Him and destroy His popularity. In Matthew 5:17, during the early stages of His ministry, Jesus makes it clear as to His ministry, “Do not think that I came to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I did not come to abolish but to fulfill. The point Jesus is driving home is that He came to move us to a radical understanding of the law, and a radical obedience to the law that is not based on law but on Himself, therefore reflecting the power of the gospel which beings the fullness of what God wills for us.[ii]. So then, why was divorce permitted? As noted, Jesus explains that the reason divorce was permitted, not commanded by Moses as being asserted by the Pharisees, was because the hardness of heart (Mark 10:5 ; Matthew 19:8)
These words are actually an amazing analysis. John Piper gives us some insightful clarity as to the hardness of heart that I find very helpful. By Jesus saying that divorce was permitted because of the hardness of people’s hearts, implies that there are laws in the Old Testament that are not expressions of God’s will for all time, but expressions of how best to manage sin in a particular people at a particular time. Divorce is never commanded and never instituted in the Old Testament. But it was permitted and regulated. Like polygamy was permitted and regulated, and certain kinds of slavery were permitted and regulated. And Jesus says here that the permission for divorce was not a reflection of God’s ideal for his people; it was a reflection, however, of the hardness of the human heart. So Jesus said, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses wrote you this commandment.”[iii]. David Garland points out that Jesus’ line of reasoning is that the Mosaic legislation of divorce had its roots in men’s hardness of heart—which is a willful defiance against God.[iv]
So when it comes to divorce, there is a heart problem that Jesus refers to as a hard heart. The Bible warns us constantly to be careful of a harden heart.
There is a story in the Old Testament that visualizes for us character traits of a heart that is hard. In Exodus 8 Moses went to Pharaoh and told him that God said, "Let my people go." But when Pharaoh heard the message, he "hardened his heart," (Exodus 8:15, 8:32, 9:34, 10:1). From Pharaoh’s response we get a pretty good picture of what a harden heart looks like.
The point for us is,
This hardness of heart stands in sharp contrast to the Mark 1:14–15 (GW) 14. . . Jesus went to Galilee and told people the Good News of God. 15He said, “The time has come, and the kingdom of God is near. Change the way you think and act, and believe the Good News.” This is the point of the Gospel. John Piper highlights this beautifully for us when he writes: In essence, Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You are permitted to divorce.’ But I say to you, ‘I have come to conquer the hardness of your heart. I have come to die for your sins. I have come to count you as righteous. I have come to show you the drama that marriage was meant to represent in my sacrificial, covenant-keeping love for my sinful bride. I have come to give you the power to stay married, or to stay single, so that either way you keep your promises and show what my covenant is like, and how sacred is the covenant bond of marriage.”[vii]
Make a note of this. For Jesus marriage among Jesus Followers is designed to be lived out in such a way that the truth of the gospel is lived out as an object lesson. So we’re told in Ephesians 5:22-33 that it is a daily demonstration that Christ died for those who love Him, and that He never breaks His covenant with his bride.
That brings us to the vs10-12. The Pharisees leave, Jesus and disciples withdraw to a house. Vs10, In the house the disciples began questioning Jesus about what He has just been telling the Pharisees. To help us understand vs11-12 we need to skip over to Matthews account for a moment. Matthew 19:9-12 tells us that the disciples were dumbfounded as to what Jesus said about marriage—V10, they blurt out to Jesus, If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.
The point captured by Matthew is, in the midst of the marriage debate, they had come to realize the marriage relationship was serious business. It was not meant to be a passing whim, or crumble when the pressure was on. Jesus gives the disciples a slight break, by telling them, V11, Indeed, not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. What Jesus is telling them is, Understanding is given only to those who are followers of Jesus. The wonder of the Gospel is that Jesus gives the power to stay in relationship.
Back to Mark’s account: Jesus now drills down on divorce. 11And He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; 12and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.” These words are both astonishing and cutting. The divorce certificate referred to by the Pharisees carried with it the right to remarry so that no one could be accused of adultery after divorce.
Jesus rejects this provision and insists that the marriage bond must never meant to be broken no matter how punctilious one is in following the legal process.[viii]. He is telling His disciples, and us 2000 years removed, “Don’t divorce your spouse and marry someone else. If you do, you will commit adultery.” Why does Jesus say the act of divorce and marrying another becomes an adulterous act? It is an adulterous act because it betrays the truth about what marriage is meant to display.
Ephesians 5:22–33 (NASB95) makes this quiet clear 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30because we are members of His body. 31FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.
Here’s the point: Jesus never, never, never devoices his bride, the church. He never forsakes her. He never abandons her. He never abuses her. He always loves her. He always takes her back when she wanders. He always is patient with her. He always cares for her and provides for her and protects her and, wonder of wonders, delights in her. So don’t miss this point: whether you are married once, married five times, married never — if you repent and trust Christ — receive him as the treasure who bore your punishment and became your righteousness — you are in the bride. And that is how he relates to you. “Everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name (Acts 10:43).[ix]. The gospel of Christ crucified for our sins is the foundation of our lives. Marriage exists to display it. And when marriage breaks down, the gospel is there to forgive and heal and sustain until He comes, or until He calls.
So let’s pause here. This is really radical stuff in a day when trading spouses is so common. We are living in an age when roughly 45% of first marriages end in divorce. Age 30 is said to be the average age when couples begin divorce proceedings.[x] Such stats make us realize that something is wrong, that somehow we do not know what we ought to know about marriage. These frightening statistic force us to take a closer look at our spouse choices. So what principles about marriage would Jesus have us bring to our marriage relationships? Let me mention three:
The gospel of Christ crucified for our sins is the foundation of our lives. According to Ephesians 5 marriage exists to display the power and wonder of the Gospel. And when marriage breaks down, the gospel is there to forgive and heal and sustain until He comes, or until He calls us home. I don’t believe Jesus is putting anyone of us on a guilt trip—whether contemplating divorce, being divorced, or remarrying. He is, however making it clear that God expects longevity in the marriage relationship. He is making it clear that we need to understand that divorce is a sin issue. The biggest blight of divorce is that it is a hard slap against the Gospel and Christ’s love for the church. But by His grace there is healing, of God’s beginning again of weaving together two lives into one.
In v9 of Mark 10, we have the phrase, what God has joined together . . . is not just a marriage ceremony pronouncement. It refers to the whole of the days of the marriage relationship. Whether it be 4 hrs or 75 yrs, God has been, and is at work blending two differing people – sometimes rubbing us raw, sometimes in pain, and sometimes in trouble – weaving two separate lives together into one life. That is why He takes us through the trials and conflicts of life. In the marriage relationship God uses one against the other to break down resistance, and reveal the hard places in our hearts, and soften us, and making us into the people he intended us to be, and give a picture of how the Gospel unfolds for all the world to see. As Ray Stedman likes to say it, every couple, when they move into their first apartment or their first home, ought to put up a sign: "Caution: God at work!" Because that is what is going on. God is building a oneness. He is, if you like, creating an ecstasy. This is what marriage is all about -- the creation of an delight. It takes a long time, and it involves many steps, but he is producing something of beauty.[xi]
There are times that relationships are strained to capacity. That’s where commitment is so valuable. Commitment is like a secure anchor. A wife named Megan says, “During a conflict, one of the best things about commitment is knowing that neither you nor your spouse is leaving.” Having confidence that the marriage itself is secure—even when certain aspects of it are in turmoil—can give you a solid foundation from which to resolve your problems.
Three areas that help strengthen one’s marriage commitment anchor are:
And that my friends is absolutely true.
Let’s close in prayer …Heavenly Father, Thank you, Lord Jesus, for these plain and clear words from your lips which help us understand what we are involved in when we choose a wife or husband, what your purpose is in it, and what will produce blessing and glory in our lives. Help us now, Lord, to walk in these ways. We have all sinned; we have all done wrongful and hurtful things to one another -- in our marriages as well as outside them. Lord, we thank you for your cleansing, for your forgiveness, for your willingness to put it all back together, to heal us and draw us together, and to make each husband and wife to be what we ought to be -- before you and before the watching world. In your name we ask it, Amen.
Well, as you go this week, strive to live out the Gospel in your marriage relationship. In the book The Marriage Builder, Larry Crabb identifies three building blocks that are essential to constructing a solid secure marriage: the grace of God, true marriage commitment, and acceptance of your mate. So make your spouse your first priority, steal time for each other, keep forgiveness fresh, and be a student of your spouse.
Don’t forget, In the midst of the swirling difficulties, God is walking with you. Remember we offer Live-worship on Sundays, both on Facebook and YouTube. I invite you during these covid days to join us from the comfort and security of your home. If you would like to contribute to this ministry, go to our website: Bensenvillebiblechurch.com, click on the Donation Drop down and pick your donation preference. Looking forward to meeting up with you again at next week’s posting. May God bless you this coming week.
[i] Matthew 5:32; 19:1-12; Mark 10:1-12; Luke 16:18; 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, 39; Romans 7:1-3; Ephesians 5:22-33
[iii] John Piper, What God Has Joined Together, Let Not Man Separate (Mark 10:1-12) Pt 1, https://www.desiringgod.org/ messages/what-god-has-joined-together-let-not-man-separate-part-1
[iv] David E. Garland, Mark, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1996), 379.
[v] Sacha Alexandre Mendes, Chraracteristics of a Harden Heart, https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/ 2019/03/29/ characteristics-of-a-hardened-heart/
[vi] Sacha Alexandre Mendes, Chraracteristics of a Harden Heart, https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/ 2019/03/29/ characteristics-of-a-hardened-heart/
[vii] John Piper, What God Has Joined Together, Let Not Man Separate (Mark 10:1-12) Pt 1, https://www.desiringgod.org/ messages/what-god-has-joined-together-let-not-man-separate-part-1
[viii] David E. Garland, Mark, The NIV Application Commentary (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1996), 381. See further, Craig S. Keener, “And Marries Another”: Divorce and Remarriage in the Teaching of the New Testament (Peabody, Mass.: Hendrickson, 1991); Andrew Cornes, Divorce and Remarriage: Biblical Principles and Pastoral Practices (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1993). “Behold thou art permitted to any man” (m. Git. 9:3)—
[ix] John Piper, What God Has Joined Together, Let Not Man Separate (Mark 10:1-12) Pt 1, https://www.desiringgod.org/ messages/what-god-has-joined-together-let-not-man-separate-part-1
[x] https://canterburylawgroup.com/divorce-statistics-rates/
[xi] Ray Stednabm What About Divorce, (Mark 10:9-12) https://www.raystedman.org/new-testament/mark/what-about-divorce